John’s out of town. I think his message said Virginia, in fact I know it did. For those who don’t know John travels the country exploiting migrant clowns for the purpose of world domination doing an incredible show on the horrors of drug abuse. So this weeks show will be later than normally expected, in case anyone expected it but I doubt it since the jaded American public would have probably moved on to other blogs featuring woman doing horrible things to migrant clowns or My Space accounts where they make believe they’re twelve year old girls or world famous athletes oh well what can you do, these things happen. For those of you reading this what do you want an award thanks for taking the time to fit us into your busy surf schedule now piss off we’ll see you later this week!

OK so last week Matt was too loud and I was distant. This week I OVER-compensated and I was WAY too loud. But I fixed it by compressing it in my trusty soundstudio for OS X… so the audio level is nice and listenable but you will hear my voice kind of scratchy and peaking out on the levels. But we had a good time doing it and hopefully you will enjoy. Next week our audio will be perfect…but for now enjoy the evolution of this experiment and thanks for being there from the beginning.

 Femme=Liberal & Matt meets a naked man [29:33m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (152)
 Bush at G8 [0:43m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (275)

Last night on the daily show I saw this clip of President Bush in Germany. At first it was funny, then it was hilarious, and then after the third question it became tragically sad. I know he has a “folksy” appeal and that many of those who love him claim that he is down to earth and “real”…but this is out of control. Its OK to make a joke now and then but this is classic playing the fiddle while Rome is burning. Usually my wife and I laugh our butts off at the daily show. But after this segment I was literally a little sick. I turned to see if my wife felt the same way…and she was literally crying. Its just not funny anymore. The witty “Bushisms.” The public slip-ups. The goofiness. Its not funny.

OK its a little funny…BUT ITS NOT DAMMIT! Alright Alright Alright..lets put it to the audience. Is this clip above “funny?”

-john

There’s an old saying in comedy, “If you have to explain the joke then it wasn’t funny to begin with” Although I think I can remember the great Anthony Clark actually dispelling that rumor, but that’s what great comics do: they break the rules. I digressed.
First show is done, we went long and the chemistry that made Matt and John so wonderful to watch and be a part of wasn’t fully back yet. It would be silly to expect us to immediately just gel after so long, although there is this dialog between friends that I hope will keep emerging. It was actually what inspired us to even attempt this.

However somewhere in this first show… am I explaining? Maybe a bit, you should know it’s an improv, sure we both have brief notes and right before we record we throw ideas at each other, but a scripted piece this is far from!

Some of the issues we first tackled I know are going to upset people, there are a few friends that I know will take umbrage. That’s ok; you see that’s what’s been lost in this country the ability to have a rational discussion without it becoming an argument.

Certainly the issues are inflammatory, we have evolved beyond the argument clinic in Monty Python “No you can’t” “Yes I can” It should also be noted that we’re not closing the doors on anyone here, express your opinion, just no silly name calling and try to limit a holy book to being your only defense.

I used to say if I was a superhero my name would have been “The Instigator” I have the unique power to start an argument with little kindling; I think I was bitten by a malcontent centipede. Hopefully as the show progresses we’ll be having guests of all sorts; I know both of us are already generating a list.

I think the very format of the show will undertake some morphing as well, maybe more bullet points on the comments, I loved John’s Joe Biden idea yet somehow we ran way over time.

So what are my thoughts on the first show? I thought it showed promise, the ball is definitely rolling.

Episode 1: 07-11-06 Spiderman, Gas, and Abortion

Well the first episode is here! The audio is a little unbalanced as I’m working out a kink which makes my voice a lil lower than Matt’s voice. Personally I think he has something to do with it! Anyway this ones definitely very listenable and a lot of fun…we’ll fix the levels next week. This is a pilot so its a full 50 minutes! Future episodes may be shorter depending on whatever mood or news cycle we are in. Thanks for being here for our maiden voyage…When we take over the world we’ll kill you last.

John

 Matt and John Show: Episode 1: Spiderman, Gas, and Abortion. [51:01m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (134)

This is a potential democratic candidate in 2008. Listen to Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del) proudly relate to his new friend. Some of my best friends are Indian…Click on picture for video. Please do not eat or drink while watching to avoid a spray onto your monitor.

Like wow this is all happenin. Greetings to all. Matt was rather eloquent in his opening and summed up everything I could’ve wanted to say but with excellent prose…and his spelling was spot on. But I would like to extend a lukewarm hand of fellowship to all who are curious and piqued to swing by our little space. I am very excited about working with Matt again and I look forward to many hours of enlightenment and good natured ribbing. Oh we do have fun now don’t we! I hope that many will listen and email or call in. I hope that you will tell others about us. And above all I hope that every podcast will see us complete the episode with a minimal amount of bathroom breaks. For we have been known as many things in our comedy life but I think every comedian and club booker would surely say that Matt and John have the weakest bladders in show business. We stand by that! That is our truth! Seriously, I look forward to these times and I hope that many will feel the passion and desire for justice and peace to shine down upon our current time of darkness…May we all play a small part in lifting the weights that hinder our progress as a people. May the floodwaters of truth trickle down…and…aww man stupid water metaphors always get me in trouble. I gotta go.

John

Few may have noticed it, yet those who were looking for signs would have been wise to look closely at changing events, events that at first seemed inconsequential and later seemed even less relevant. When the world’s greatest superhero returns in “Superman Returns” followed less than a week later by the return of America’s most under-rated comedy duo those that have waited for signs of the apocalypse must now change their thought patterns and instead relent that signs are pointing in a more positive tone. For those that have come here seeking solace for their ravaged souls I say, “Good luck” for others I say… “Listen, comment and clean up after yourselves.”

I stopped writing for a bit right there, I know you were not aware of this and if I had never mentioned it you would never had, but honesty is important here and I felt the need to share. Who am I? I am Matt. That has the beginnings of a wonderful Dr Seuss book there, too bad he’s dead. Ever wonder what he would have thought of his beloved character being portrayed by Austin Powers and checking out porn in the movie adaptation? I do too, that’s what this sight is about. Ever wonder why things seem so obvious to you and everyone else is clueless? I do too, that’s what this sight is about. Ever wonder why John was always considered the good looking one? Oh yeah, me too, and that’s what this sight is about. I stopped and looked for more signs on the internet; amazingly Nostradamus may have predicted this, Book 8, stanza 12, right after a big lunch… “And with the rise of a nation’s hero two former fools will deem themselves worthy of saving the world and One of them will be named Pat.” Damm! He was so close!!!

Where have we been? A good question but I’m not answering that, at least not here, listen answers will be coming. What happened after that night in CT when “Matt and John” decided to take a sabbatical, why did it take so long to re-appear? Oh, there are stories and they will unfold like a trashy harlequin novel, except without the sex, or the passion, or the good looking people, useless you consider John, but I’m still hazy on why that would be.

So that’s my first blog, glad I got that out of the way, hope it helps you to understand why we are doing this, probably not. But stick around; suffer through the first shows, common suffering always unites people… I read that somewhere. No matter what write to us, comment on the board; let us know what you’re thinking. For old friends welcome back, for new friends… don’t say you weren’t warned.

Take care… Matt.