MattandJohnShow.com

The “Lost” Pilot

Matt — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 03:46:13 +0000

So I’m digging through stuff at our storage facility and I find this rarely seen Matt and John video. Why was it rarely seen you ask? Well let me take you back to the early days of the Web when loading a page was like turning the page of a magazine with 153 year old arthritic hands… painful. Yet John and I thought we could do something so we bought mattandjohn.com (which is now owned by a gay couple) and began to shoot a video pilot for viewing there. The idea was simple: two mental patients slip out in the middle of the night, wander through a bowling alley where they switch their hospital gowns for a pair of bowling shirts and then try to find a purpose in this world. The actual first “show” was longer than this but time has made me more prone to edit.

Let us know what you think… there’s a whole box of Matt and John tapes in that place!

My solution

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 21:08:57 +0000

Thousands dead in Iraq.

Health care costs out of control.

The housing market is tanked.

College is no longer affordable for most Americans.

Drugs and crime destroying American cities.

Genocide in Darfur.

…….

George Bush Kills People in Kansas…But is he Here or There?

Mon, 07 May 2007 16:29:10 +0000

“Uh….DOY..I can ride my bike.
All by myself.”

“Uhm hi I’m a dead person buried in tornado wreckage in Kansas. Someone wanna lift this stuff off of me. Dude can I borrow your truck?”

HERE OR THERE

What? Did he say…Bush Kills people..?
Oh thats too far.
Thats just over the line.
Thats just partisan complaining!
Thats just left wing rhetoric.
Oh right! First he had a hurricane machine now he has a tornado machine?!
Why don’t you keep politics out of your life!
Why don’t you mind your own business?
Don’t discuss politics.
Tough! I was just in Kansas last year and it was awesome. The people were great and YES it affects me and you. They lost 95 % of the town. Those people will be poor and bummed out for a while. School will be canceled. Young people will feel more disenfranchised. There will be depression. This will trickle down for months and years. And so I was concerned about the response and rebuilding effort that my government was doing with the taxes I just paid them on April 15th.
So I was checking up on them in the morning news.

This is a quote from the AP and The Governor Of Kansas:

The National Weather Service classified it an F-5, the highest category and the first since the weather service revised its scale this year in an effort to more comprehensively gauge tornadoes’ damage potential, with less emphasis on wind speed. The last tornado classified as an F-5 hit the Oklahoma City area on May 3, 1999, killing 36 people.

The governor said the state’s response was limited by the shifting of emergency equipment, such as tents, trucks and semitrailers, to the war in Iraq.

“Not having the National Guard equipment, which used to be positioned in various parts of the state, to bring in immediately is really going to handicap this effort to rebuild,” Sebelius said.

So what else am I supposed to think after reading that?
If people HERE were not helped because of what we are doing over THERE then …what?
It means a decision was made. Things were examined and someone said there are priorities.
And the money and equipment went THERE…and not HERE because of priorities.
Some would say we have not been attacked by terrorists since we made it a PRIORITY to fight them there.
Which is consistent with the mantra of the US War Machine.
Better to fight them there than over here.
But did these things have to be mutually exclusive?
Most people can do two things at once.
Right now I’m listening to the radio and typing and watching my dogs and listening to a baby monitor.
And now I have an itch…..There…Better. See! I’m a genius!
You are at work multitasking. Reading this. Ignoring your coworkers breath. Watching a call beep on hold. And downloading pictures of Sanjaya doing awful things on some web site. See. YOU are a genius!
We can walk and chew gum.
But some children have a hard time doing two things at once.
Some need to be taught about here and there.
Near or Far.
Grover taught me that on sesame street.
I was 4 or so at the time. I’m sure I just held up my hand and said “dis many.”

Near………Far.
Far………Near
But our leader made it clear.
One thing at a time.
Bike riding or jogging.
Decider or Commander.
There is a choice.
Freedom lovers or Evil Doers.
With us or against us.
Here or there.
Freedom or terror.
Here or there.
Here or there.
Here or there.
Shut up..Don’t rush me!
I’m thinking and stuff.
HERE OR THERE!?
Crap…Uhm….THERE. I choose there.
I’m the decider.
He chose there.
The troops are there.
The money is there.
Our future is there.
But the tornadoes hit here
and when we called for help…
There
was
nobody

there.

crap. shoulda chose here.

John’s a Daddy!

Matt — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 03:42:38 +0000

Congratulations to my partner and his beautiful wife Kelly on the birth of their new daughter!

You’re a natural John!

How was your Easter?

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 15:49:16 +0000

VOTE!

Matt — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 14:11:49 +0000

Shameless plug time!

Carmen Nardone is a very talented singer and worth taking your time once a day for the next week so she can be the next voice of Chock Full of Nuts(a coffee company for those of you unaware). Take the time, follow the link, suffer the annoying coffee emails (if you decide to use your real email address, not necessary of course ;>). http://www.chockfullonuts.com/singerwanted/vote2.asp

Thanks! Matt

nice!

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 16:30:34 +0000

I rarely watch late night comedy cuz you see…Matt and I are bitter! But. But! This is funny.

Brad Delp Passes Away…

Matt — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 16:28:38 +0000

I have to admit, although I enjoyed the music of Boston I never would have known the name of Brad Delp (their lead singer) if it wasn’t for John and this crazy puppet. Back in our Murder Mystery Dinner Theater Days we were doing a private show when John recognized a “star” in the crowd. He came back to the dressing room convinced it was Brad Delp of Boston, and he was going to prove it! Now John’s character had some mental issues, and one of them involved the fact that he carried his therapist around on his hand as a puppet; to which he provided the voice. So in a classic John moment he began singing “More Than a Feeling” quietly under his breath (as the puppet) to the man he believed was Brad Delp. After getting no response John began to get perplexed and a bit louder. Finally the man’s wife leaned over to John, “He’s deaf in that ear”, and John was part embarrassed and yet proven right: it was Brad Delp! The rest of the evening we endured vague Boston and Brad Delp jokes improv-ed into the show and, nice guy that he was, Brad came over after the show and shook everyone’s hand commenting on how much he enjoyed it.

Today I found out he passed away at the young age of 55. His band has removed everything on their web-page and left a very simple, yet personal message. I never met Brad again, nor did I ever get to go to a Boston concert, yet somehow in a strange way, he touched my life and left me with a great memory and some incredible music.

Check out the message yourself at www.bandboston.com

A Message From Barack Obama

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 19:47:04 +0000

This is a personal message to Matt and I because, as you may know, we were elected Time Magazine’s 2006 People Of The Year. We have this personal message but we have gained clearance to share this excerpt with you. Your Welcome.

John’s Away

Matt — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 04:30:25 +0000

Hello all! Sorry about the delays, but John is having some personal issues and when he is ready to talk about it I will let him. I’m gonna be posting some written stuff like my take here on the National pastime that is Halloween right below. Hang in there and spread the word, one of our episodes has over 300 downloads! Although John and I used to perform in front of 300 people a night, ah how my standards have slipped…